make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
