He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
