$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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