i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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