Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm so fucking centered right now
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
