another moral hangover. fuck.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
