And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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