I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
