i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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