he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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