I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize