so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
