Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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