one might say we're banned from that church
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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