We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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