.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The best revenge is premature balding
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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