You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
two words...techno handjob
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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