Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
