You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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