we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
