Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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