At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
