We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
