I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize