Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My ass is underappreciated
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
