So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
