my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
