She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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