now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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