Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
