I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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