David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
