Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
