Sponge bath it is.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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