I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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