the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize