In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
