I am puke
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
