smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
...so i touched it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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