Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
