i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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