He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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