I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
