I want to make a zoo with you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
