So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
