So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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