I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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