So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
