Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you win again, gameday.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
