did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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