I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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