too bad you live with your parents still
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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