I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
