Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
