I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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