not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize