dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I currently don't understand fingers.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
