you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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